Dear Workminded,
They're b-a-a-a-a-c-c-c-c-c-k...It's Girl Scout cookie time again. But it could be anything: greeting cards, candles, toys, books, puzzles, pretzles, chocolate...you name it, the kids are selling it to raise money for their schools and/or activities. That's OK with me, but when it's your boss bringing in the goods and "expecting" everyone to help junior or their little princess win a trip to Disneyland, things get sticky. I mean, I like me some thin mints, but this is getting out of hand.
Held Hostage by the Peddlers in La Jolla
Dear Held Hostage,
Yum, thin mint time is an annual highlight. But feeling obligated to buy something sold by one's boss smacks of harassment. Yes, mild, maybe benign, since you
You simply must say "no thanks", I am not interested. Stop. Do not...repeat...do not....make up stories like "uh, I am diabetic ..." or "I am on a sugar-free fast..." or the very next time you are sitting in your fav eating place chowing down on a "Death by Chocolate" dessert with your possee, your boss will walk in. It always happens...guaranteed.
So, don't make up excuses. Simply say "no thanks" and then when you can't get the thin mints off your mind, buy them directly from the adorable scouts outside the grocery store. That way, you will get to have your cake.....er...cookies...and eat them too.
Dear Camille,
The woman in the cubicle next to me eats potato chips, crunchy nuts and crackers every day. I've asked her to stop, but she persists. What do I do? Our boss is not someone I can talk to about this..."
Getting on my last nerve in Pacific Beach
Dear Last Nerve,
All-righty now...we have all been there. The oaf who just doesn't get it. The cubicle monkey that is constantly creating discord in the tribe. If you have talked to this revered co-worker and she refuses to play nice, you may have to get down to her level. Just temporarily. To raise her awareness of what an annoyance it is.
Have you considered bubble gum? Chewing and poppin' it, that is. But ONLY when no one else is around to hear or witness this professional reputation killing behavior. See if she breaks...and if so, call a truce...no crispy snacks from her side of the cubical farm and no gum poppin' from your side.
If that doesn't work, some discrete earplugs available at you local drug store are in order. Believe me...you CAN still hear what is going on around you with them in. In the meantime, her cholesterol will still be sky high from eating all that junk.
1. Getting laid off from a job you like due to no fault of your own. Really - it's a 21st century rite of passage.
2. Getting stopped for a (minor, very minor) traffic violation and attending traffic school - you'll be much more aware of bending the rules when you have "points" on your DMV record.
3. Vote - it doesn't matter who you vote for as long as you know WHY you are voting for them.
4. Take care of a pet - even if it is just a friend's pet - for at least a week. You'll get to experience the unconditional love of a living thing and won't have to obligate yourself to the long term commitment if it turns out you hate it.
5. Go on a trip to a country where you do not speak the language and don't hang out with the other Americans.
6. Work in a customer service/wait staff /retail job - you'll never be rude to those service industry employees again.
7. Baby-sit kids for a whole weekend - again...they don't have to be YOURS, just see what it "feels like" to have another human being depending on you...
8. Volunteer for an entire day - pick any cause and go with the intent of paying it forward - when it's not all about you it feels great afterward - don't just take my word for it.
9. Assemble furniture from Ikea or any other big box company - it can try the patience of even the most Zen-like person - and teaches you to at least read directions in life when they are available - following them is another subject.
10. Get dumped by someone you are crazy about - ask for pain? Yeah, pretty much. It teaches you a lot about being a better friend, not taking others for granted and that the heart is a very resilient body part.
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Dear Queen Camille,
I'm turning18 in two months and I really want to join the Marines, but to be honest, I'm a little scared. Even though both of my parents are supportive, I'm still intimidated by the thought of Basic Training. What do you think I should do? On the fence in San Diego.
Dear Reluctant Recruit,
I've gotta start by congratulating you on being aware of and then admitting to your fear! Especially if you are also brave enough and value being of service to others enough to consider becoming a U.S. Marine (or joining ANY branch of the military)!
Let's break this down...F.E.A.R. (False Expectations Appearing Real) is nothing more than being hesitant because you don't know what's ahead. When we are kids, we just step into things...no matter what, because we don't know about the potential consequences. (Lookie at me...you grab a hot log off the fire and you learn pretty quickly not to do that again.)
Joining the military and signing up to put your life on the line and be part of something bigger than yourself - all to protect others... SHOULD be scary. If you didn't feel that, I'd think you probably weren't mature enough and weren't taking the decision seriously enough.
About Basic Training...obviously I have nevah been close to anything like it in my multitude of jobs...but it is meant to help you suceed. It is meant to break old bad habits, get you in shape and think like a team...to have everyone else's back. Of course it is extremely challenging both mentally and physically...but what worth doing isn't?
Let's look at the worst case scenario...you absolutely hate being a Marine...and regret you signed up. You do your tour and come out.....smarter, with lifelong values, experiences, comrads and accomplishments! You also earn lots of thanks from your fellow Americans in the form of tuition breaks, discounted home loan programs, extra "points" when applying for government jobs, etc.
Oh, and having experience in the military is a great introduction to the "real world" of work if you decide not to stay in long term. I swear I can pick 'em outta any group...women and men who have served our country. They seem to stand a bit taller, listen more respectfully and problem solve more logically. Don't even get me started on their teamwork skills.
Oh and if you are a Marine, you get to say that cool "hoo-rah" thing the rest of your life too!
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Dear Camille,
I am so sick of having to move from company to company. Every time I get settled in, there is a new manager, a new owner or another layoff. What can I do about this?
-Tired of being Resilient in Oceanside
Dear Tired,
Whoa, I too am becoming weary just thinking of all those changes you are going through. Wouldn't it be great to have the proverbial magic want and just wave it wildly to create your perfect situation?
Well, it ain't gonna happen. I am here to tell you that change is here to stay and companies just don't offer us the security they did back in the time of that 50's/60's TV show Leave it to Beaver.
Your answer? Get rolling on a plan and no matter what happens, look for the WIIFM (what's in it for me?) every time you are faced with another change. Take my word for it...it beats being passive plus you end up in a much better place in the long marathon called the world of work.
Dear Camille,
I'm enthusiastically interested in transitioning into human resources from financial analysis. Although I have taken all the necessary steps the HR experts have advised (HR Certificate program, HR volunteer work, HR association membership and volunteering at events, networking, etc.)I'm still finding it extremely challenging to get my foot in the door. Anything more that you can get suggest to increase my chances of success?
HR Professional Hopeful
Hello HR Hopeful,
First of all, congratulations on deciding what you want to do to make a change and taking proactive steps to reach your goal. You have passed about ten major milestones...like that you weren't satisfied working in financial analysis and getting all the way to where you are now. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back!
I have held over 40 paid positions, so I could tell you a few things about career transition. It's all about focus and knowing exactly what you want to do. Next, you build the structure under the "dream".
I'm not psychic, but I definitely see an HR comp and benefits job in your near future. Why? Because quite simply, you have built the basic foundation needed to get there. Here are a couple more ideas to build on your current activities...
1. Build a list of your qualifications and the top 50 companies you are interested in researching/possibly working for.
2. Identify your top ten HR contacts at hiring manager level built through all the work you have noted in your inquiry above. Set up a coffee, lunch, cocktail, dinner, phone appointment...whatever.
3. Share the #1 with #2 above and ask for advice, information and referrals.
4. Hone in on researching the companies in #1. Add other companies that you learn about and removing any companies that your research proves NOT to be appropriate to your perfect job.
5. Write down your absolute perfect work scenario. Be as specific as you can be at this point in your discovery process. Write down every detail about the kind of people you are working with, the hours, what the culture is like, the commute, the type of product/service, the reputation of the company, what your role is, what the physical work environment looks like...yada, yada, yada.
6. Spend five minutes every day focusing on #5 in a positive way...as if you are now in that scenario.
7. Don't ever give up, don't ever give up, don't ever give up. "Never, ever, ever, ever, give up".
OK, that is actually Winston Churchill's quote, but I gotta agree. Stick to the above plan and you'll have those new business cards in hand before you know it.
My husband has been with his company for 4 years. They are not doing so well in the current economy. He was up for promotion this year but is feeling lucky to have avoided downsizing (so far). What are your recommendations for trying to get that promotion during these tight times?
Hmmm...this is a tough one...what is that saying? "A bird in hand is worth two in the bush." Your husband can start by looking at the bigger picture...say three years from now. What role and salary does he aspire to at that time? Now, what does he need to be doing today to reach those three year goals? Sometimes it takes sitting tight during down times to leap forward in robust times.
While times are slower...your husband works on his daily personal work related goals. Daily. Here are a few ideas...
· invite a coworker to meet for lunch;
· make three phone calls to colleagues he has been out of touch with;
· complete an online course in an area relevant to overall goals;
· read an industry-related article;
· research upcoming association meetings and business networking events;
In other words, work on "Me-Inc."- his own brand and career goals.
Next, I recommend your husband create a 3, 6 or 9 point business case showing how he is adding value, saving money, working smarter, etc. Schedule a meeting and present this case to his boss.
Just because things are slow, that doesn't mean that companies are cutting back to the bare bone. They realize that when the economy picks up, there will be a shortage of qualified, experienced industry-savvy professionals. It is far more cost effective to continue to build their current employees than gamble on new ones. He needs to arrange for a meeting and present his thoughts to the boss.
The thoughts need to be delivered in a "sandwich" form...
First...the bread". Say something positive...I really enjoy being a key member of your team. Looking at the big picture, we are staying afloat industry-wide and are going to be prepared when the current trend turns. On a personal professional level, I have a few thoughts I would like to run by you...
Here is where he puts in the "meat"... those points:
On the Shaffer project, we cut the man power by 40% and moved those team members over to other more research intensive projects. We still finished ahead of time.
At the end of these points, your hand asks for the raise/promotion.
End with the other piece of "bread". Thanks for making time to talk - Its important for me to keep you up to date with where I am. Your leadership style makes me comfortable to keep it all out in the open. I know you need time to think this over and I look forward to revisiting our conversation.
You don't ask, you don't get. Period. End of subject. Case closed. Be your own best avdvocate. Good luck!
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Dear Camille,
I have that dilemna we all love to hate - I have been through the whole interview process. I even nailed an offer and just negotiated better terms. What can I do to make sure this is the RIGHT opportunity for me before I accept it?
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Dear Queen Camille,
I am so annoyed. I have been on multiple interviews that seem to go very well. When the interviewer says they will be calling me back, they hardly ever do. What's up with that? What happened to basic courtesy? I am only 28, but I am a big girl and I can take no for an answer if they don't want to hire me. And I know to call back when I say I will. I also don't know if I even want to work for a company that is so rude to potential employees. How can I overcome the problem of always being the one waiting, waiting, waiting for the call?
Waiting in LA for "THE" call
Dear Waiting,
What a refreshing perspective...actually expecting people to "do what they say they are going to do".
Interviewing follow-up is especially frustrating, as each company has a different protocol, style and culture when it comes to evaluating potential new employees. Part of the issue begins with scores of applicants clogging up the process which means that some companies are so overwhelmed that they can't even thoroughly evaluate incoming resumes.
Interviewing...and job search in general...is like dating. You are building relationships...you meet many different types of people (companies) and some seem like a good fit in terms of interests, values, etc. You can tell pretty quickly...as can the company...if they like you and vice versa. (Just like being able to tell if you want to go on a second "date".)
They may be delaying calling you back because they are not yet sure about where to put you on a team. Or you may be the second choice and they are waiting for the first choice candidate to accept/reject their offer before they call you. They may be on vacation, they may have been sidetracked on a huge project. In other words, their lack of followup may have NOTHING to do with you. I know, I know, it is hard NOT to take it personally. In the mean time you are on the hook thinking "this is the perfect job (guy/woman)" and waiting, waiting, feeling out of power.
The solution is two pronged:
1. Take an equal role in building the relationship
At the end of the interview, ask the hiring manager what the next steps in the hiring process are. Reiterate what you can do for the company, ask for the job and then follow-up right away with a note or email.
Ask what the best way to follow-up is if you don't hear from them at the designated time.
2. Use multiple forms of approach to build the relationship with the prospective employer
After the interview, start using your research skills to find anything and everything out about the company and the people you interviewed with. Look for common acquaintences and potential inside endorsements. See if there is a professional organization where they are a member and attend the next open meeting as a guest. Arrive early and make it a point to seek out the person and speak with them for at least 3-5 minutes if possible.
Mostly, in the interviewing process, remember that your sense of urgency and your timeframe in general is likely different than the company's. Be patient, continue to nurture the relationship and look at other work options.
Most importantly, use this experience as a guideline for your own business practices as you grow in your career....delight people and leave a lasting impression by simply having the integrity to do what you say you will do.
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Dear WorkMinded,
I just don't get it...I worked my butt off to get a degree and now there are no jobs for new college grads. It's not fair that the economy is so bad right when I graduate. What is the point of even trying to get a job? I think I may as well relax and wait for the economy to improve and more opportunities to open up. For now, I am pretty comfortable at my parent's house and they are very sympathetic to my problem. What is your opinion on the best move for a new grad - wait for a better market?
Down and Out Grad in
Hi Down and Out...
First of all...congratulations on graduating ...that is a huge milestone! Savor your accomplishment. This is the first part of your ticket to future career success and earning a good income.
Your question reminded me of a program called STRIVE/Second Chance. This amazing program provides training for former felons/drug offenders/homeless / chronically unemployed, etc. to help them reenter the job market.
I have been a guest speaker for the participants in the program a number of times. When you walk into their meeting room, painted across the wall in HUGE letters is this quote:
"Life Ain't Fair
It Ain't Never Gonna be Fair
Eat It
Swallow It
Accept It"
It is time for you to accept that there is no Santa Claus and living off your parents indefinitely is not an effective way to build your life. There is no free ride...when you can't get the job you want, you get two or three or four part-time jobs and you suck it up until a better position opens up in your area of study.
I know you're gonna hate this, but when I graduated, the economy was bad too. Two friends and I rented a dumpy apartment, made furniture out of discarded construction materials and with sheer determination, we were able to survive in the
I was looking for a teaching job and finally landed a half time position 58 miles from home. I got up at
Does this show that I am oh so wonderful? Nope, 'fraid not. Just normal. And no, I am not gonna tell you I had to walk five miles to school through the snow with rags on my feet 'cuz I didn't have any shoes.
My point is...once you graduate, you are grown up. Swallow It, Accept It and get on with it. Take your drama back to Mamma. Get five part time jobs if you have to. Work in a restaurant washing dishes, work at a hotel cleaning rooms, work at a car wash, grocery store ...whatever.
Not only did my roommates and I survive those tight years, we had a blast. It is all about the will to succeed and make it on your own. Not expecting Mommy and Daddy to keep supporting you the rest of your life is your first step toward making it as an adult. And it is a huge gift to your parents too!
You will look back on these times and realize how much fun it was. You will have the best stories ever for years to come. Quit complaining, making excuses and moaning about how life isn't fair. There is no future in that. Start taking action and you will find that things fall together...employers can sense your desire to work hard and contribute. Success is MUCH more fun than complaining.
You are right, Down and Out...Life isn't fair...and it is still GREAT!!!
