Dear Camille,

My coworker is always stealing my ideas and then acts like they are his while at the same time being two-faced enough to pretend he is my friend.  Advice?

Thanks,

Robbed in San Diego

Dear Robbed,

Uh oh, somebody's Mom didn't teach them how to play nice in the sandbox.  What really gets on my last nerve is how often this type of co-worker seems to come out smelling like a rose while you are standing there wondering "hey, what happened?"

Lesson #1 - except in very rare cases, these people DO know exactly what they are doing.  They are basically spotlight stealers who don't have any original ideas of their own.  The first time this sort of behavior rears its ugly head, you have to go back to the person and let them know that you're on to them...and so is everyone else.  The next time, you have to keep your ideas to yourself. 

And Lesson #2 - branch out and find some other friends...this so-called "friendship" is going nowhere fast.

Dear Camille,

I have a real dilemma at my part time job - a market research company.  I used to make about half my income there, but things have really slowed down.  I just happened to go into the office last week and there was a focus group going on - the job I usually handled.  I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. My two work friends there were very upset. They didn't know whether to tell me or not and didn't know if I had been asked to work the focus group. I have tried emailing the boss, but he doesn't respond to me. What do you think I should do? I'm such a wimp but I'm afraid bugging him and calling him at this point will just make things worse.

Wimp in Walnut Creek

Dear Wimp,

I feel your pain.  You know it is over, but you aren't ready to let go. First, I recommend you try to disconnect emotionally from this part time job.  From all the drama. 

If the "project" work you have been doing is in a lull or even gone forever due to changing business needs, (or hiring the boss's neighbor friend in your place) find something else and appreciate the work you had with them.  You can't make them give you work...they owe you nothing, so no need to take it personally. 

Use the experience and move to a new pasture.  Give the boss a phone call tomorrow and if he is not here, leave a pleasant message and call again in 2-3 days.  Let it go...sounds like it's over.